do u ever miss a friend but u don’t want to tell them bc they’re probably doing perfectly fine without u and to them it probably doesn’t even matter and so u don’t want them to think ur annoying or needy
'you shouldn't eat that it's too fattening/full of calories'
*proceeds to eat both food and person*
what a day!!!!!!!! nothing happened and i was tired
don’t u love how movies about the future changed it used to be like
woa flying cars
woa time travel
and now its just like
to die in some horrible apocalypse
says a lot about out cultural state of mind
i want a cute boyfriend and $500,000
Dogs with butterflies ehe he he
Dogs with butterflies oho ho ho
Dogs with butterflies aha ha ha
every single person you know has something in their life and past that is probably worth collapsing to the ground in an uncontrollably sobbing heap over, so be nice to each other and tell good jokes
this is really important.
i want to sleep for 2 years and wake up with a degree, an apartment and money in the bank.
"yeah, everything’s fine, i just tucked your kid into bed. but can i cover up the clown statue in the corner? it’s freaking me out"
"what? we dont have a kid. take our clown statue and get out of the house right now"
napping together is my kind of date